Damn you gazebo and patio furniture, damn you all to hell!

Let's get one thing straight! I hate putting stuff together! Plane and simple, I suck at it! After years of hearing things like this from my lovely wife, "honey will you buy me a gazebo?" and "it sure is a nice night tonight, wouldn't it be great to be able to sit under a gazebo and enjoy each others company?" and my personal favorite "If you don't get me that gazebo over at Home Depot I'm gonna dot your eyes for ya!" I finally decided to buy a gazebo and patio furniture.
My first mistake was listening to the lady at Home Depot tell me how easy it was to assemble. Yea right lady, maby if your name is Jack Handy and you own a bitchen set of craftsmen tools. All I have is a screwdriver and some weed eater line! Geesh!
After much patience on Deette's part and lots of procrastination on my part we finally were the proud owners of a gazebo and some patio furniture. What was supposed to take the normal he-man 2 hours took me and Skyler 5 days.
If I were a betting man, which of course I am, I would bet the structure will topple or blow away within the next 24 hours. Keep in mind it has already blown away once! And what of the patio furniture you say? I am almost positive one of the 7 pieces is going to blow up or get stolen within the next two weeks. Ahh the pride of home ownership. I want a freakin condo!